Monday, July 30, 2007

Angelic Souls

Hey people, I found this chat site not too long ago called It has chats, forums, and all kinds of games that you play for points. With those points you can turn into cash or prizes, which I think is really cool. They have Uno Tournaments and my personal favorite, Pick 3. Awesome game, and really easy way to win points. There's also a game where you can dig--I don't know how you dig in cyberspace, but anyways--and you can win points or items like rings (ex. Black Diamond Rings, Ruby Rings, etc.) and trade those or turn them in for points. You can even have bidding wars over them, which is extremely fun. They just started an Uno Tournament and Trivia Tournament, which aren't my cup of tea but I know you people out there might like them.

I really like the forum on this site 'cause you can make your own threads, post whatever you want (in the correct thread, of course,) whenever you want. You could even give out points for posting on your thread if you want to increase the traffic to it. I'm thinking about doing it for my 'Life's Little Mysteries' thread, which is all about the weird things that happen to people (post your weird experience there!) but I don't have that many points yet, since I just started out.

I don't think I've ever met nicer people than I have on that site. It's not overloaded with pervs and creeps, which is probably the main reason that I love going there. I've had more than my share of creeps in my life, in person and on the internet. Not to mention, a psycho that's loose and preying on the innocent, which I plan on putting a stop too. Too much information, probably, but, oh well. There's some people on there that are very special to me. First, and foremost, is Amber--she's one of the mods--who is always there when you need to talk about your problems. FallingFool, or Nat, is another special person. She's always there to lift you up when you're feeling down. Another of my personal favs is Cammy. She's got an oven in the bun--I mean a bun in the oven--kinda like a sheath in a sword, right?--which makes her even more special in my eyes. Yes, I love children, and want to have many sets of twins--that way, they'll never be truly alone--when its the right time. I'm getting way off subject, but anywho... I know--or hope--that most of you readers out there are made of decent material.

What I like absolutely the most about the chat is that there's not hundreds of people in one chat room at once. It's a more personal chat, where instead of knowing one or two people out of fifty, you know everyone. It's quite like we're a close-knit little family. I love it that way.

Check it out people! I know you'll love the threads, and the interaction with the natives. *wink wink* If I had a good time there, I know you will. Check it out and if you have any questions about it just post a comment.

What Is

What is Hope?
Can you tell me?
What is Love?
Can you teach me?
What is Sex?

Can you show me?

Brain Transfusion

I’m sick of all the confusion
I think I need a brain transfusion
Seeing these illusions
And having these delusions
Messes with my constitutions

Hell, I need a brain transfusion

The Cat & the Fly

The cat and the fly
Oh, how they stare
Each other down
Deciding who is best
And ready for the test
That will declare
One the winner
One the loser
Will the fly, fly away?
To get caught another day?
Or will the cat
Orange and round
Be able to move without a sound
And eat that naughty nagging fly
An orange rump wiggles
A stripped tail swishes
The pounce… too late
The fly has escaped its terrible fate

~Dedicated to Peaches

Poignant Epiphany

Reverberating throughout all of Time
Without the sound or movement of Footsteps
Through History they last forever
One moment of importance
Soon forgotten and war
Will once again strike in
The halls of Prophecy
Where we refuse to learn

From our deadly mistakes


There she goes again
Look! Can you see her run?
Run away from me
Back to the flames
Of guilt that
Consumes her dignity
Lost in the fire
Lost in the pain
Lost in the darkness
That is pulling her down
Down farther away from me

There she goes again
Look! Can you see her fall?
Into that hole of misery
Now her life will
Never be the same
My love has fled
Across the barren fields
The empty deserts
The lifeless sea
The lonely mountains
While the sun hides

There she goes again
Look! Can you see her rise?
From the ashes of her old self
She glances at me
But I don’t see
I’m too busy picking up
The pieces of my shattered heart
That broke apart
The moment she went away
The bridge of trust
Has fallen in the river of loss
Formed by my tears

Here I go again
Look! Can you see me fall?
Into the hands of distress
Tell me why it has
To be this way
Where everything hurts
I feel my life
Slipping through my fingers
I’m losing control
Over everything I once held onto
Since you walked away

Dreaded Abyss

I walk slowly down the hall
Looking for an opening
In which I may escape
This oppressive Hell
I’ve been forced into
Why couldn’t I see?
Through all the lies
Of which the Devil wrote
Drawing in the deep mystery
That pulled me down and under
Into the dark abyss
The Challenger fought
The sea and lost
All but it’s Captain as
It glided to the bottom
And here I lie in my watery grave

For I have made a deal with the Devil

Locked Out

This is just a sample of my everyday life; all the things that go wrong and should never have happened! Okay, so a few nights ago at 7:50 PM, my mum decides that we need some basics for breakfast the next day. The store closes at 8PM. She does this at least twice a week. Well, after the guilt trip, "I'm hurting like hell. If you're not going to do it, I'll have to!" And of course I don't want her in more pain! So, with grumbling assent, I go to the store. There's two cars in the parking lot, so I get as close as I can to the sliding doors and make a wild dash inside. Instead of pushing a cart through the store I just grab a basket since there are only 6 things on the list. Smart idea? One would think so. Un-uh.
By the time I'm done rushing around the store--and cause I'm wearing my sandals and slipping and sliding all over the place like I'm wearing socks, I'm now huffing and puffing--I have a 2-liter Diet Pepsi, Half & Half cream, a full gallon of milk, Strawberry and Cookies 'n Cream Poptarts, two half-gallons of Apple Juice, and one loaf of bread. When I get to the check out, the bread is semi-smashed, and it’s past 8:00PM--closing time. Shitzo! Now, the clerk is pissed and giving me the Stink Eye as I puff my way out the store and put the groceries on the hood, and open the door. Only... the door won't open!
Here's my dilemma, I took my mum's car, which happens to be a monstrosity of a Station Wagon, not my own, and out of habit--since I live in a small town--I left the car keys in the ignition! Well, I dash to every door and they're all locked, even the back door! Alright, at least I didn't leave my purse and therefore my cell phone in the car. I almost did though! I called my mum and told her what happened and she drove my brother's car to give me the spare key to the car, all the time grinning like the Cheshire cat in Alice In Wonderland.
Here's the part that makes you go, "Huh?" The locking mechanism on my mum's car is difficult to use. You have to press really hard to get the lock to turn on and the same to turn it off! You can't just bump it and automatically lock yourself out of the car. I clearly remember not locking the door. Not to mention the annoyingly loud click which sounds more like a clunk when the lock button is pressed! So, if I had pressed the lock button, I would've heard the doors lock; there was no such sound. So, just how did all the doors get locked? Anyways, that's just one example of all the unexplainable shit that happens to me.

Bass or not?

I gotta write down something weird that happened to me today before I forget, although I doubt that's possible. So, I was listening to Carlos Santana's "Maria Maria," and all of a sudden, the major vein in my left arm--
Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Have you ever donated blood before? Ya know the vein they draw blood from, right in the crook of your elbow? Yeah, well, that's the vein I mean.
--started pulsing. Every time with the beat of the bass guitar, or the drums, I'm not sure which. Anyways, I could feel it pulsing, matching the beat's rhythm perfectly. So, I turned the music off and the thick pulsing in my arm stopped. Turned it back on and it started pulsing again. Matching the beat perfectly, again.
Was it the bass that made my vein do that? 'Cause I did have it almost all the way up on the speakers. Or was it just some freak of nature thing? 'Cause God knows I have enough of those experiences. I am my own Freak of Nature. Tell me what you think.


There was a question on my profile page that said: "If you had to dig a hole to China, where would you start?"
Knowing my computer, it went all screwy so I'll just answer it on a post.

My Answer: 'Nepal. Hey, no one said it had to be on the other side of the world. Why go the long way when you can take a short cut?'
Nepal, for all of those out there who aren't the best at geography--and no, that's not an insult--is wedged between India and China which are located in southeastern Asia.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

My Life

Okay, people, really weird stuff is happening to me right now. I'm officially freaked. No more posts for a while. So, don't scoff at the emptiness of my blog, k?

I'm just adding to the previous post ^ so what I'm about to type makes maybe a little bit of sense to all you people out there. Last night my mum asked me if I had any triple A batteries for a remote that was going haywire. I said I might and went upstairs to check my room but I couldn't find them. As I was headed down the stairs, she called up and asked if I could check my brother's room if he had a different remote in there. I shrugged and jogged back up the stairs and walked into my brother's room. Before I could flip the switch on my gaze was drawn immediately to the middle of his room. There stood a very tall (
at least 6 feet) and slender woman. From her outline, I could see that she had long golden hair that went halfway to her elbows and that she was wearing a white dress with such long sleeves that only her fingertips were visible. Her head was crooked to the side slightly. Unnerved, I took a step back and fumbled for the light switch. After a second that seemed to last forever, the light flicked on and the woman was gone. I darted downstairs, leaving my brother's light on.
Now, I've seen things and known things that I should never been able to all my life but... since I've turned 19, which was a month and a half ago, the things I've been seeing, hearing, and knowing, has increased tenfold.
For as long as I can remember, I've had a man follow me. I'm not talking about a stalker, I'm talking about a spirit. I told my mum not too long ago about a recurring dream I've had since I was really little. I would wake up, get out of bed and go by the window, which was really low. The windowsill was only two feet off the floor. I was wearing a white cotton nightgown, and my long brown hair went way past my shoulders. I would lay my palms on the windowsill and look through the screen. A tall shadowed man stood under an oak tree, staring at me. I couldn't see his eyes, but I could tell by the angle of his head, not to mention the feeling that flooded through me. Headstones were everywhere. In other words, my backyard was a graveyard. I wasn't frightened, just curious. They say children are more comfortable or understanding of the ethereal, which would explain why I was unafraid then, and somewhat unnerved now.
When I told my mum about this recurring dream, her jaw fell and she stared at me. "It's not a dream, Sara," she told me. "When you were two, we moved from Boulder (which is in Colorado, the town where I was born) to Chicago. We lived in a house that was right next to a graveyard. In fact, the backyard was the graveyard." She went through explaining the how the house was located and how it looked, and that oak trees had been scattered throughout the graveyard. She asked me if that man was the same one that had been appearing in my room night after night. "Yes," I answered immediately. That night I told this man that I wasn't ready for him, that I needed time to adjust to everything that was happening. He disappeared and didn't show up for months, until a crisis occurred that showed my brother and I just how close life and death are. By now, I know he's my Spirit Guide.
Yes, many of you might think me a little bit off my rocker, or that I have a few screws loose, but some of you out there will understand what I've written, because you'll have experienced similar things yourselves.

Phantom Piano

Tink, tink, tink… the raindrops sang as they hit the windowpane. Stretching my arms, I opened my eyes and looked out the window. Captivating music wafted through the floorboards to reach my ears. Smiling, I threw my covers off and glanced at the time. That’s weird. I know I set my alarm for 8:30, yet the big red numbers stated that it’s nearly 9:50. I walked over to it to see if I had set it wrong. No, the alarm was on and it was set for the correct time. I watched the numbers pass. 9:53… 9:54… 9:55… A movement caught my eye and I knelt to take a look under my desk. There on the floor lay the alarm clock cord. It wasn’t plugged in. Astounded, I looked at my clock again. As I watched, the red numbers changed from 9:56 to 9:57. I stood and stumbled backwards. What’s going on? Nervous, I turned and left my room as quickly as possible. I pattered down the stairs and paused on the landing.
Closing my eyes, I tilted my head back, and let the soothing music calm my nerves. When I had more control of myself, I slowly walked down the rest of the stairs and into the hallway. I paused outside my father’s den and listened again to the exquisite music the piano produces when he plays. After a moment I continued on my way to the kitchen. I skipped around the island and opened the refrigerator.
“Orange juice, raspberry jelly, peanut butter, and bread,” I murmured to myself as I pulled each item out of the fridge. After grabbing a knife, I opened the jars and spread their contents onto two pieces of bread. Humming, I twirled my way to the cabinet and pulled out a glass. As I shut the door I saw a note on the countertop.
In a hurried scrawl it read, “Honey, you’re father and I had to make a trip to Nana’s house. We’ll be back by three this afternoon. If you have any problems call Aunt Christy, alright? See you later… Love, Mom.” I looked out through the misting rain and noticed that the minivan was missing. Slowly, I turned towards the kitchen door. The alluring music ended
I’m an only child.

It's Over

I have given you my everything
Now, get off of your knees
Here’s your engagement ring
I’m not that naive

What more do you want from me?
I’ve taken enough of your abuse
Don’t give me the third degree
I don’t want to hear another excuse

What? You think that these bruises,
Are just a figment of my imagination?
No, I wont be here the next time you blow a fuse
Hah! You want my admiration?

Don’t act all confused
You are an undiscovered disease
I have nothing left to lose
And now you're sitting there, begging please

That's it
I've had it
Don’t call… don’t write
I can’t wait ‘til you’re out of my sight

Broken Dreams

Nothing is what it seems anymore
What I heard about you I thought was lore
I saw something I couldn’t ignore
I can’t go on as I did before
This is something I need to explore
So, please don’t shut the door

I know now that everything I ever knew
Was a tormenting lie I couldn’t undo
But what I want in life I can’t pursue
I can’t start over ‘cause I’m not through with you
What you said has got to be untrue
Everything I have ever done was all for you

I try so hard but I can’t seem to mend
These things that I can no longer contend
But I can no longer pretend
That we’re anything more than friends
No more now than we were back then
This relationship has got to end

Why am I still here trying to amend
All the things we did back then?
I don’t need to make an excuse
For all the things we did in our youth
Is it so wrong to look back on the good times we had?
I realize now that I was nothing to you but the latest fad

So now, what’s your next move?
Who’s the next person you’re going to ruin?
If you keep tampering with everything
And discarding everyone’s feelings
One day it’ll all come back to you

After everything I’ve seen you do
I want nothing more to do with you
I just want you to know this
You’re not someone I’m going to miss
I’m putting this all in the past

And I’m moving on at last


“What do you know?
What do they know?
What does anyone know?”

She cried into the night
Sobbing into the pillow
Wishing everything was alright
Bruises cover her face
Another night, another fight

She tries to hide the marks
But anyone can see them, even in the dark
She smiles and laughs with everyone else
The pain in her eyes is obvious
One of these days she’ll be found without a pulse
He holds her hand, acting chivalrous

She’s on the floor again
Trying to hold it in
He kicks her, inhumane
She bites her lip to keep it in
He pulls her up by the hair
Her agonized screams fill the air

Now, the doctors want her to explain
Her arm is broken, a rib cracked
It’s easy to see her pain
They stand there and demand the facts
Everyone knows what really happened
’Cause he’s in the waiting room
The roses in his hands in full bloom


Still, she goes back to him
I want to know why she can’t see
That’s she standing on a breaking limb
One day, too soon, she’ll be
In the hospital comatose
Blue and black from his blows
Close, its too damn close
She stays and no one knows
Why she stays and never goes


One more time is a guarantee
Next time I won’t be picking her up
But laying her down
Six feet under
Far below the ground
I drop the flowers one by one
Fat drops soak me as it thunders

“What do you know?
What do they know?
What does anyone know?”

I scream into the churning sky
Lightning claws its way through the clouds
Saying goodbye to you does something to me I can’t deny
And here I stand, telling you my vow

I will never forget you
I’m waiting for you to reply
Everything we’ve been through
But I know that I
Will never see your face again
Never hear your voice again
I stand here and scream:

"What do you know?
What do they know?
What does anyone know?"