Monday, August 20, 2007

Nothing Is What It Seems (Fast Food Theme)

I've been thinkin' lately (and yes, I know this admission comes as a shock to everyone) that things are never what they seem. Take fast food places (excuse the food analogy, I couldn't think of anything else at the moment) for example. You see a Big Mac on the menu at McDonald's. It's three inches thick with the usual ingredients. Delish! you think and order it while drooling. As you drive away, you rip off the wrapper to find a squished bun, ketchup everywhere and hardly any cheese. Not what you expected to spend $3.25 on. Don't forget about the 500 calories that are hidden away in what you thought would be a tasty treat. Just thinking about it clogs your arteries.
How about Subway? Nutritional alley! Or so they would like us to believe; I think the jury's still out on that one, Sub! I digress. But, really! You stare at the menu up on the wall and see a Oven Roasted Chicken Breast stacked with meat and veggies. So much that the ingredients are falling out of the bun. You order a 12" and choose the Italian Herb bread. While they're cutting it, you lick your lips and try to choose what kind of cheese and veggies you would like on your sub. Pepperjack looks great, gives every bite a little zing! On this massive (in length) sub they put two, two triangular pieces of cheese on it. Then they sprinkle on some lettuce, a few strips of peppers, onions, and olives. At your request, they drench the practically bare sub with oil and vinegar, then sprinkle salt and pepper over it. To top everything off, you buy three chocolate chip cookies and a large mountain dew. Ignoring your next request that they don't wrap it, they do. After you unwrap the sandwich, you stare at the pitiful result of your specifications that cost you $12.89. The bread is flat and the only thing protruding from the sandwich is the end piece of a onion. You glance up at the lit-menu on the wall, staring at it's overlapping and enormous amount of ingredients to the soggy piece of bread in front of you. Again, not what you expected. You vow that next time you're going to Quizno's and order a Baja Chicken sub or maybe a Tuscan Turkey sub with Rosemary Parmesan Bread.
This is true of everything you may encounter. You ask for a black backpack and they give you a white one. You ask for a 2004 Pontiac Grand Am and get a 1987 Toyota. You go to the Humane Society to adopt a cat and they only have dogs. Yes, they're all adorable, but, you're 79 years old and can't walk it. Too bad. Maybe you'll buy the hamster instead, only after realizing it's the cobra's next meal. Nothing is what it seems.

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