Saturday, November 17, 2007

A Message From Me to All the Cruel People Out There

What is wrong with this world? I really want to know. People are so damn cruel. I've endured more cruelty than anyone ever should. Why am I treated like this? Does it make you happy to make people feel like they're nothing? Like life isn't worth living?
Why? I want to know. Why are people so fucking cruel? I've done nothing to you! So grow up! Act like a man (or woman). Be mature. But, no. That's too much to ask, isn't it? That you grow up and act like an adult. What is it that's so enticing about laughing and giggling with your friends while you kick someone when they're down? What's so funny about causing someone pain?
I've never understood, and perhaps I never will. But I know this. I will never become what you are. I will break this chain that you whip around you, affecting everyone you meet. Yes, I will break this chain, and not cause someone else such pain. Yes, I'm going to break this chain, and leave you all alone in your own pain.
You can wallow, and you can cry. I will leave you here on your own. One day, you'll realize you've burnt every bridge you've come across. Where will you be then? I know, and I certainly don't care.
No, this isn't callousness. This is letting go of all the destruction you've caused and leaving you in your own misery where you'll stay. I've had it with you and your kind. What kind? As if you don't know! Here, let me explain in a way you'll understand.
You're the kind that gets pleasure in causing others such pain, in ruining lives, families, anything that brings happiness. I know, 'cause I've been in the path of your wrath. You are empty, and the only way you can fill yourself up is by the satisfaction of hurting others. Well, one day, this'll all come back at you.
I refuse to let you ruin my day ever again. One day, so soon, you'll realize your mistakes, but by then, it'll be too late to fix what you've broken. And one day, so soon, you'll realize what a pitiful existence you lead. And too soon, you'll find that you have no friends to be there when you need help. You've burnt every bridge you've ever crossed, remember?
Where will you be then? Where will you be?

Monday, November 5, 2007

People From My Past

It's been quite a while since my last post. Talking about my experiences or thoughts, rather. I've got enough poems up. What can I say? College is keeping me busy.
Anyways, this past week has been full of surprises. I mean loaded with them. Not all of them good, but I can't expect everything to be perfect, now can I? I mean, really... think about it. Life doesn't always turn out the way we want it to. We can try, but things still bottom out. Not all the time, of course, just... some of the time.
This morning we had a surprise visit from an old friend of my brother's. Dustin. We haven't seen him in forever. Close to four years now. I opened the door, and there he stood. I was like, "Er, Hi... Who are you?"
"C'mon, Sara," he replied with a grin. "You don't remember me?"
It took me several minutes to recognize him.
I got a question for you people out there. Why does everyone automatically expect you to recognize them? Especially when you haven't seen them in years!? This isn't the only time this has happened. A friend of mine, Jennifer showed up when I was still in grade school. She looked totally different, it was no wonder I didn't recognize her. Come to think of it, she lived in the same house that Dustin had, years before, though. Still, the same house... People who live there always seem to have their fair share of tragedies... Hmm, anyways... I'm off on a tangent. So, back on track.
Jennifer had been my friend for a long time. She had a really bad heart condition and was such a skinny little thing. When I saw her years later, I'm very happy to say she had some meat on those bones of hers! We used to play in the skimpy front yard of hers, which consisted of mainly dirt and a few pine trees. One day, I had decided I was going to climb one of them. What a stupid idea. I had gotten three feet off the ground when my foot slipped. My shirt got caught on a branch, almost ripping it in two. That same branch, with it's jagged tip, was pressing into my neck. I held on to the branch as much as I could, but I was slipping. I was ten at the time.
Suddenly I was lifted so the branch was no longer pressing into my neck and a large hand was yanking on my shirt. With a loud rip, my shirt came free of the branch and I was set down on the ground. I turned to see Jennifer's cousin, Jeremy standing next to me. I looked down at my chest and a long scratch ran from my belly button to my collarbone. And man did it burn!
I looked back at him and said weakly, "Thanks."
He smiled back at me and replied, "Just don't go climbing any more trees, okay?"
I nodded numbly and went home to change my shirt.
I still see him from time to time. He works with my brother, which is nice. I get to ask how Jennifer is every now and then when I see him.
Ah, I would type some more, but I have my Archaeology class in a few minutes.
I'll add more to this later.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Dead or Alive?

Am I dead or am I alive?
These dreams I’m having
Make me cringe inside
But no matter how hard I try
Things never come out
The way they’re meant to be
I try to run and hide
From these things that hunt me
From these things that won’t go away
I cover my ears and scream for silence
In the fissure of time
I see scenes of violence
I hear silent screams of pain
I feel daggers pierce my skin
Will it ever end?
I walk through endless halls
Scenes flash before my eyes
Scarlet splatters smear the walls
It’s my blood that’s spilling
Now it’s just empty space I’m filling
In a rectangular box
Deep below the ground
Don’t keep throwing rocks
You know I won’t be found
But that’s how this story goes
It’s something no one knows
Yet, death is the beginning
Until the very end…