Thursday, December 6, 2007

I'm Just Too Depressed to Give This A Decent Title

Right now, if I had some rope, I'd hang myself. But I'm so broke I can't even afford some thread, let alone rope. I'm so broke, that Christmas has literally been cancelled. Yup, you heard that right; no Christmas. I'm not talking about not getting presents, fuck that! I'm talking about having enough money to drive down and see my family, or put up a Christmas tree, or even decorate the house. That's how broke I am. And here I go on another rant...
I've made jewelry for as long as I can remember. By now, I have at least 75 pairs of earrings including several sets, along with bracelets, and anklets. They're reasonably priced. I think the highest price I have is $25 and the lowest is $5. I make jewelry and sell them at reasonable prices so everyone can buy them, not just a select rich few.
I have one problem, though. I have to find someplace to sell them!!! I could make a great deal of money selling them on campus, but, of course, they won't let a student--ME!--sell my jewelry on Campus property. You know what they asked me?: "Are you selling this for a club?"
The minute I said, "No, it's to pay my bills," they shook their heads and said no. Oh, I understand what they were saying, loud and clear. "If you're not bringing money into the campus, just making money for yourself, regardless if you're just trying to make it through the month, you can't sell your jewelry here." That's the reason they won't let me sell my jewelry here. Because I'm the one making the money, and they're not getting a percentage. Whatever I make is not going into their school funds.
Why should've I expected anything less?
People, organizations, foundations, everyone is just looking to make some cash--just looking out for numero uno. Yup, if they don't get a percentage, or all of it, then they could give a shit about you. It doesn't matter to them that you're struggling to get through the month, that you have enough food to eat, or enough gas to get back and forth to college. Why should they? You mean nothing to them. You're just a pebble in their shoe. They'd be better off with you gone anyways.
Integrity and decency and compassion have gone down the tubes. Cruelty, greed, and indifference have spread until there's nowhere left to go. Not even shadows can give you shelter now; you're on your own.

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