Saturday, January 10, 2009

Solitude in Conceptual Awareness

Can a tiny fissure, a tear, a rip in your heart, in your soul, ever be healed?
Yes, a heart can be broken. And that break may be healed, some way, some how.
But what if a heart isn't broken? What if it's just fractured?
I wonder... Could it be healed? (To answer this question, step out of the box of preconceived conclusions. Don't follow step after step. Skip a few. Take a leap forward to find the answer, then go back to the theory and look at the result with newly opened eyes.)
Or could a heart be torn apart so violently by someone's actions, someone's deeds, that it can never be fixed? Would it be better to fall into a consciousness of nothingness, that is to say, a silent and willing release? Rebirth would be a better word, actually.
Could someone go on living when there is no life to live?
Is the dawning of a new day the death of the prior? (Or does it just meld with other days of past to resound as one moment, united by time?)

This is what consumes my mind at times.
Can you see why it is hard for me to connect with many people?
How can I talk to people, completely give myself over to them, if my musings are far more... What is the right word? Not advanced. Not scintillating.
No, I don't think there is a word for it.
Ha, how stupid of me. There isn't a word to describe what can't be described. How could there be?

I am resilient; I am strong. I know this. So why do I feel the way I feel at times? Why do I contemplate things, certain concepts most people can't even conceive? I guess the only answer here is that there is no answer. Some things are just meant to be contemplated, not really known.

Ah, Life's Mysteries.

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